Integral Relationships A Manual for Men Martin Ucik Harriett Hardman Annette Berlin 9780984570300 Books
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Integral Relationships A Manual for Men integrates the socioeconomic, biological, psychological, developmental and spiritual dimensions of love relationships into a comprehensive map that allows men to meet women with integrity, strength, understanding, and kindness at their level of consciousness. In Part I of the manual, the reader learns how to differentiate between the biological sex, learned social gender roles, and feminine/masculine polarities of males and females. This allows him to understand her primary sexual fantasy to attract a successful male protector and provider with status and wealth, her primary emotional reaction of fear, her social expectations, and how to balance and harmonize the opposing poles of agency, communion, ascending (Eros), and descending (Agape) that generate sexual attraction and synergy. Next, the manual provides information about multiple intelligences, competencies, values, interests, passions, and emotional needs that must be compatible between couples for their relationships to thrive. The following chapter covers developmental levels of consciousness (from archaic to transpersonal), spirituality (from gross to non-dual), sexuality (from repressed to transcendent), and his anima and her animus complex. The understanding of her levels of development in these four crucial domains is paramount for his ability to meet her as an opposite and equal partner. The final two chapters in Part I discuss states/phases of love relationships that allow him to stay cool when the various hormones that impair his and her ability to make rational decisions rush in, and personality types that help him to understand her behavioral patterns and how she gives and receives love. Part II of the manual introduces the fact that humans have (1) an interior mind and (2) an exterior body, and are (3) simultaneously whole as individuals and (4) part of larger collectives. This insight allows him to identify eight forms of love (none-love, friendship, infatuation, commitment, romantic love, crazy love, companionate love, and integral love) that he or she may experience in kind and degree when a resonance in their collective interior (which generates intimacy), exterior (which generates passion) and/or unconscious dimension (which generates various forms of dependence) is experienced. Part III of the manual informs the reader how to use observations as well as answers to specific questions to determine a woman s highest level of consciousness, spiritual, sexual, and animus development. Combining his insights with the number of perspectives (1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th person etc.) that she can take, allows him to define her Kosmic Address which provides him with pointers to the type, quality, and sustainability of the partnership for which she is available for. He can then decide to improve an existing love relationship (if she is willing and capable to do so) or to end it with compassion and to develop an integral dating strategy to find/attract a more compatible partner. Appendix I of the manual provides integral reviews of 30 selected self-help books for singles and couples that allow him to quickly select additional reading material that supports him in addressing relationship challenges. A comprehensive Bibliography and Index complete the manual.
Integral Relationships A Manual for Men Martin Ucik Harriett Hardman Annette Berlin 9780984570300 Books
Anyone interested in applying integral theory to relationships will probably enjoy reading and studying this book. If you already have an understanding of integral theory the review at the beginning is still fun to read. It really has one of the best summary of stages of development I have ever read. The matrix of how levels can relate is well thought out. My task now is to apply the books wisdom in a relationship with someone who has no interest in integral theory, except if it makes me a better person.Product details
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Tags : Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men [Martin Ucik, Harriett Hardman, Annette Berlin] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men integrates the socioeconomic, biological, psychological, developmental and spiritual dimensions of love relationships into a comprehensive map that allows men to meet women with integrity,Martin Ucik, Harriett Hardman, Annette Berlin,Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men,singles2couples.org Publishing,0984570306,Nonfiction General
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Integral Relationships A Manual for Men Martin Ucik Harriett Hardman Annette Berlin 9780984570300 Books Reviews
This is a serious study that applies Ken Wilber's Integral framework to male-female relationships.
It is NOT for women, but for men who seek to get along well with women.
If you're a man who is trying to figure out what makes women tick, and who has already done a fair amount of reading about male-female relationships, you'll really appreciate this book. What you had previously thought was incomprehensible about their behavior might begin to make perfect sense.
Some relationships fall apart not because of some fault of the man or of the woman, but simply because the two are at different stages of development in their individual lives at the time they cross paths. Not seeing this can cause a tremendous amount of unnecessary grief. Understanding it makes it so much easier to avoid that grief altogether, and/or to let her go with love and best wishes.
Appendix I contains an extremely helpful survey of relevant relationship books, and discusses how each reviewed book succeeds or fails to take into account various "quadrants" of Wilber's Integral model. Whether you want to apply Wilber's model or not, this section alone will probably put the whole subject of understanding women in a much broader framework than you ever imagined.
I like to think of this book as providing clear road signs where before there was only guesswork at best. It's so easy to take a wrong turn in dealing with a woman if you don't know where you are--and especially if you don't know where she is along life's path. Think of "Integral Relationships" as Mapquest on steroids with plenty of roadmarkers helping you get to your destination--or at the very least help you stop wasting time riding down the wrong road.
The more you have read about relationships, the more you'll like this book because it's such a concise compendium of human knowledge about the female mind and heart, presented in a way that inquiring male minds will understand. "Integral Relationships" is not simple (because the topic is not), but it makes an exciting read because it is so illuminating in how it ties together so many perspectives with which you may already be familiar. Want to save yourself years of stumbling in the dark? Read this book now.
If dealing with women sometimes leaves you feeling like you're in a dense jungle, this may very well be your machete to daylight.
Brilliant book.
I am in the process of reading the book. I find the ideas contained in this book interesting. I find it simplistic for every man to understand no matter his level of education. The ideas are not revolutionary, except to the person that never heard or thought of them before, but give ways to implement the ideas is what this book shows me. Having it to return to as a reference when feeling stuck, I feel is what any good book allows any reader. We often read textbooks for educational purposes, but once we finish the book the information might be forgotten. This is a textbook for men wanting successful relationship for life and having it to re-read or access points of information I feel/think will be a long life changing experience.
I just recently finished reading your book Integral Relationships and I want to thank you for writing this book. It is truly a groundbreaking adaptation of Wilber's work to such an important subject. Your book and your videos online are the first resources I have come across that so thoroughly address the depth and span of integral relationships. It was affirming and joyful to read your description of women and of partnerships at integral levels of development. It was like you were giving detailed words describing that which I long for--a partnership of opposite and equals who want to make a difference in the world and utilize their relationship for psycho-spiritual growth. Integral Relationships has also served as a resource for greater understanding of why my therapy clients' primary relationships are suffering and what can be done to help the situation.
As a young single male I found Part III in Integral Relationships to be especially useful. It helped to clarify in words the type of relationship I would be willing to create with a women and it gave useful strategies for dating. And the Hafiz poem in the endnotes about "not surrendering your loneliness too quickly" served as a reminder of the important lessons of singlehood on the path of consciousness growth. All in all, your book helped me feel more at peace with myself as a single man and also to become more open to co-create a deeply meaningful partnership.
Thank you for the good work you are doing in the field of relationships!
For those who have read much of Wilber's work, this one offers many new lenses to consider, obviously gender lenses are leading. Martin's chapter "Understanding The Differences Between The Sexes" is perhaps the clearest and simplest, down to earth comparison between the sexes I've encountered. His three levels approach, Body/Mind/Spirit is well articulated and skillfully rendered. The other big standout of the book is "Passion/Intimacy/Dependence" a chapter that presents these three aspects of relationships as a triangle that needs to be aligned for deep intimacy.
For me, the book is for either gender if you're familiar with Integral Theory. I've been reading sections out loud to my wife and she hasn't rolled her eyes at me yet! For those just learning about Integral, I would say it's more for men.
Martin's material is very well researched and referenced. His summary of relationship books extremely helpful for coaches or therapists working with men or couples.
I'd read this book if you want to see the map and the territory of integral relationships.
Thanks Martin for your contribution.
Anyone interested in applying integral theory to relationships will probably enjoy reading and studying this book. If you already have an understanding of integral theory the review at the beginning is still fun to read. It really has one of the best summary of stages of development I have ever read. The matrix of how levels can relate is well thought out. My task now is to apply the books wisdom in a relationship with someone who has no interest in integral theory, except if it makes me a better person.
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